Diary
Support from ex-players is comforting
By Shoaib Akhtar
Apr 2, 2008, 15:23

The support and backing of the country and former players has been a great motivation and inspiration to me and it's good to know I will fight my ban with their backing.

I have always held guys like Imran (Khan), Sarfraz (Nawaz), Zaheer (Abbas) and Javed (Miandad) in high esteem and it is really comforting to know they are with me and have criticised the ban the PCB have placed on me. 

I find myself in a position where yet again I must fight and stand up for myself against the PCB. It is not a situation I like to be in but I have no choice but to defend myself.

From what should have been a minor disciplinary matter for the PCB, after I apologised for my comments, I can't believe I have been banned for such a long time. It is hard for me to understand.

The bottom line is I should have been told what I did and when I violated any discipline codes. Like I have said, I am what I am because of Pakistan but my punishment is also because I am Pakistani. This would not have happened in any other country like England, Australia or India.

I can’t believe that I am supposed to be someone who can’t be trusted any more - as the PCB seem to think. They have obviously forgotten that only in December I got up out of my sick bed in Kolkata and played a Test match against doctor’s orders. Is that an act of someone who doesn’t care for his team-mates or has a deep loyalty and passion for his country? Banning me like this is unbelievable.

I maintain that I am not going down without a fight, like I had to fight with my doping case and even that was not handled correctly. I will certainly be appealing, I have a right to do that much. If the PCB do not relent then I will have no choice but to go to court. This is not exactly a fine we are talking about here, this is my career.

I have put a great deal of loyalty in the Pakistan team, the Pakistan Cricket Board and my country. Probably the best example is that I have twice rejected very generous offers from the good people at the Indian Cricket League, and not because of the money they offered me but because I want to play cricket for my country. Now the PCB are telling me I cannot.