Diary
Pakistan is recovering well from all the fiascos
By Shoaib Akhtar
Jul 5, 2007, 16:17

I’ve had lots of controversies, mental problems, health problems, injuries…yeah I’m glad to be over them now. I’ve fixed myself once again.

It was difficult at times to gather myself, especially during the ban. It was one of the darkest days of my life.

It’s good to be back in cricket and I wish I could have played those games that we couldn’t play in Scotland because they were rained off but it was great to be back in the side and obviously while we were there the Court of Arbitration set us (Mohammed Asif also) free so it’s all good.

The Court’s decision was a relief. Those times when I was banned were the darkest of my life, as I was in such agony and pain and mental stress. But as my ban went along I became tougher, calmer and I would say I was peaceful and thought whatever is going to happen is going to happen, I am not going to change what I am.

But I have never taken illegal substances, I never did anything wrong, I don’t need to to be honest  - I’ve bowled 100 miles (an hour), I’ve been the fastest bowler on this planet already so I’ve done more things than people have only dreamed of.

The way the doping case was handled was stupid and pathetically wrong. They could have saved their country’s respect and a big disaster because two of us lost our fitness and never ended up going to the World Cup.

The World Cup is the main stage for any player or team and is the most important tournament for all of us. It is a milestone as every kid dreams of playing for his country at a World Cup, but unfortunately I couldn’t go and couldn’t justify my place in the team and I told them that I am not fit enough to go and I’m not fit enough to perform.

It wasn’t an easy decision for me to make, it was quite difficult at the time cutting myself off the team list. It was painful but the way the World Cup went it was a totally sad departure for all of us. We were down and our coach left in such a manner where we can’t be happy as he died and on top of that all the enquiries, the post-mortems and the way they kept his body out of the grave for a month and a half was the saddest way for me. The way they treated his dead body was not nice at all. Then Inzy left.

That whole era…the last four years for Pakistan cricket have been ballistic and full of happening with The Oval fiasco, my doping fiasco, it was too much for Pakistan cricket to handle. Now the Pakistan team is recovering well, on the winning streak and we would like to do well once again.

As soon as I put my kit on I told the guys that it’s a fantastic feeling to put these clothes on me once again. And I kept them on all day, I didn’t take them off. That’s the greatest feeling you can have, playing for your country but unfortunately we couldn’t bowl a ball.

It was good to meet Prince Charles; he’s a funny man and is a very easygoing person. I met him for the second time, he’s a fantastic human being. He asked me if I have any family in London and I told him that I have been living in England (on and off) for the last ten to 15 years, so he asked if I was brought up with English friends and I said ‘Yes Sir, a bit of my upbringing comes from England'. He also said to me ‘So you’re the fastest (bowler) in history', and I said ‘Yes I am, it’s an honour’. It was good fun and good meeting him.

That game was for a good cause and for a good purpose, it was just unfortunate we couldn’t bowl a ball because of the weather. It would have been nice to have run in against India in Scotland and it would have been much more fun for me bowling on these types of tracks in these (wet) conditions, which I would prefer to bowl on.  

It was good to catch up with a few of the India boys like Zaheer (Khan) and Yuvraj (Singh). They were asking about me and how I had been for the last eight months and said it must have been tough for the last three years and they said they didn’t know how I keep up with all the injuries and said they didn’t know where I get the mental toughness from. They said every time you come back and play they knock you down.

Now I am just going to go out there and play my best cricket for the next four or five years. I don’t want to leave on a sad note. I want to set a new trend and leave on a good note. It will be good fun for the next few years and I just want to keep myself fit and see how far I can take this.

Now, after a quick jaunt to Malaysia to film a Pepsi advert, it’s back to Pakistan again for two more fitness camps in Quetta and then Karachi. It’s great to be back.